Author: 長月 Nagatsuki
TN:Mamuni
Chapter 79: (Extra) Sara’s POV Part 7
If I was to classify the people around me into categories such as “family”, ”friends”, “acquaintances” etc. I wonder what Shiori-san would be in. She is closer to the word “friend” so she no longer fits that category.
If I were to categorize her, it would be more appropriate to create one just called “Shiori-san” and I would display it on the top and most prominent place in my heart.
Recently I finally realized that Shiori-san is that special in my mind, that I can’t categorize her with anybody else.
“That doesn’t solve anything though. . .”
It’s been a week of summer vacation. The first three days were pretty intense, but after that It’s been peaceful, simply doing my chores and homework without any problems.
My only complaint is that I can no longer see Shiori-san every morning. She still comes on the weekends, but as the meeting decreases my loneliness increases. While I was staying there, we were always together, not just in the morning. I may have been too spoiled.
Before I knew it, I was thinking about Shiori-san like this.
Normally, when I’m on the way to school, I look at the clock and think about Shiori-san. I remember how she’d taught me how to cook, and her soft voice explaining how to solve my homework. Yesterday I even had a dream about her.
Before I knew it, I reached a point where I only thought about her.
Does this mean that I like Shiori-san? In a romantic sense?
“Do I. . . like Shiori-san?”
As soon as I said that, my heart began to pound, and my body shivered with embarrassment.
Eh, what is this? Nobody is around but I’m so embarrassed! No, it’s even more embarrassing when you say it to yourself!? Either way, I feel embarrassed to death. It was so embarrassing I found myself writhing from embarrassment on the sofa! Don’t mention it again!
It hasn’t been decided I’m in love yet. It might be, because one word does so much psychological damage.
It feels like there is an itch, I like her, but I don’t have a deciding factor to completely convince me. It’s almost there, I’m so close to reaching a conclusion. I wish someone could just tell me. Is this love or not? What should I do to calm down my pounding heart?
But I can’t turn to Shiori-san to help with this.
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I was invited out today by my classmates to go bowling. My score was horrible, I haven’t gone bowling since I came here with my family in elementary school. At first it was all gutters, but in the second half I managed to knock down a few pins. It’s kind of fun when you can knock down a few.
Shiori-san said she was bad at sports, I wonder if she is not good at bowling too. I could imagine how cute it’d be to see her become frustrated when the bowling ball doesn’t roll straight, I couldn’t help but smile. One of these days I’d like to come here with her.
“What are you grinning at? Cute-!”
I totally zoned out as I fantasized about Shiori-san.
Miharu-chan, who just finished bowling her ball, called out to me and sat beside me.
“Hey, spit it out, let me know. Were you thinking about your crush again? You were, weren’t you?”
“Y-Yeah. . .”
“I knew it!”
Until a while ago, Shiori-san was my made up “Favorite person” so I didn’t mind before. But now that she might actually become my “favorite person(Probably)” my fake love stories have become too real, it’s embarrassing.
What kind of face have I had until now? I don’t remember at all.
“So~. Tell me, what were you grinning about?”
“Well, my favorite person isn’t a fan of sports. So I just thought that because they aren’t good at them, maybe they weren’t good at bowling either. I could imagine them becoming frustrated and I thought it would look cute. . .”
“Eh- no way. You were smiling because you imagined that? Sara-chi, you are so reserved.”
“Reserved. . !?”
That’s the first time anybody told me that!
Ah, I was secretly shocked, the other girls then added in saying “What, what happened?””I heard something interesting! Let me in!” Everyone who heard the details agreed that I was being reserved.
Why! I’m sure everyone would at least grin in their thoughts.
But maybe this is my chance to talk about love?
I’d like to discuss these half hearted feelings I am feeling right now. In particular I’d love to ask Natsuki-chan who has a boyfriend, and Akiho-chan who has a crush. I’d like to hear their input on feeling love.
I decided to go for it, so I talked to them about my fuzzy feeling recently growing in my heart, and at the end of the conversation, those four were looking at me with a kind smile.
“Um, so in short? It used to be close to admiration, but recently there have been feelings like it is more like love, and that’s why you are confused?? You are not sure if you like them as a person, or if you are romantically interested in them?”
“I guess that’s pretty much it, isn’t it? So what could you tell me? How do you know if this feeling is romantic. . .?”
Although I asked her for it, After I heard Akiho-chan’s summary, it seemed so childish.
I know that even a kindergartener can understand the feeling of love, but for me to need to ask this question is shameful! I understand why they are looking at me like a child.
“So pure. . .”
“After all those confessions, how did you live without getting dirty? This girl. . .”
No no no, I’ve seen plenty of the dirty parts of love, I think I’m dirty enough. I couldn’t stay pure.
I was so busy trying to wipe off the garbage that it rained down on me that I didn’t have time to look at my own love life, that’s why I am in trouble now.
“But you know, these feelings are very hard to explain.”
“I know. Do you want to date them, or kiss them?”
“Do you want to do something for them?”
“Do you find yourself thinking about them all the time?”
“Do their flaws make them look cuter?”
Everyone had their own input, but what should I do? Almost all of them are true.
I would do anything for Shiori-san, and lately all I can do is think about her. I’m not sure about kissing or going out with her.
Kissing or going out. . .No, that’s too embarrassing. My brain refuses to imagine it.
“Sara-chi’s reserved face is coming out.”
“Did you imagine kissing them or something?”
“I didn’t imagine anything like that. . .It’s impossible.”
I couldn’t take it anymore, I covered my face with my hands, and then the people around me reached out and patted my head. I’m pretty sure I’m being treated like a child. I wonder if it’s okay to stop bowling after this?
“There is an inverse factor to this too. It’s not just what I want to do with them, but what I don’t want them to do. I don’t want them to have a girlfriend, or how I don’t want them to have someone who is closer than me.”
“I see, I see. I know it’s not good to think that way, but it’s natural to get jealous-.”
I know exactly what she means, and if there is a hole in the ground I want to crawl in it. Everything everyone has said is true.
I don’t really feel it yet, but the outer moat of my mind is being filled with “It’s love.” more and more.
“Thank you. . .It was helpful.”
“You’re welcome. Well with that way you’re feeling, If left alone I’m sure you will know for sure soon in the near future.”
Yeah, I think so. But even if I will find it out on my own soo, it still bothers me, and I wanted to hear other people’s opinions.
Still my friends are so sweet to think together to help me answer questions a child would ask.
Until spring, I couldn’t imagine playing with friends and discussing love like this during summer vacation. I never thought that a day would come where I would ask for advice with love. . . I’m so happy right now.
“Ah, Sara-chi is smiling again.”
Mafuyu-chan looked at me with an expectant face asking “what now?”. I put my hand over my mouth. I unconsciously let my guard down. Miharu-chan put her hand on my shoulder and said, “Fess up.”
“I’m not thinking about anything strange. I was just happy that I’m friends with everyone.”
A few seconds later, everyone fussed over me so much that my hair got messy, but I was having so much fun it didn’t matter. The five of us laughed so hard.
I wanted to share this with Shiori-san, but I can’t tell her why it happened, so I’m afraid I have to keep it a secret. I’m sure she would be as happy as I am.
Someday, I can talk to her about what I talked about earlier, that time- – –
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After bowling, we enjoyed some tea together at Starducks before heading home.
I saw a sign near the cash register saying a limited time offer of the Honey Lemon Frappuccino at StarDucks, coming soon. I want to comeback for that drink soon. I wonder if Shiori-san would come with me if I invited her?. . .I’m thinking about her again. It has become a habit.
As we left and walked to the station while chatting. Natsuki-chan, who was walking a little ahead of us, seemed to have noticed somebody. She raised her hand and said “Long time no see!” and went to them.
“It’s been a long time since graduation! How have you been?”
“It’s been good! So what are you up to, on your way home after hanging out?”
“Yeah, I’m with my high-school friends.- – -Ah, sorry. This is my friend from Junior high.”
Natsuki-chan turned and introduced a child I couldn’t see before, but I instantly recognized them.
She must have too. Because her friendly eyes were directed straight at me instead of the other three.
“Nice to meet you all, I am Aoi Shimamoto, I went to the same junior high school as Natsuki!”
A cheerful smile. A pleasant greeting. A healthy and refreshed atmosphere. No matter how you look at it, you should get a good first impression, but why then?
From the first time I met her, I couldn’t help but be afraid of her.
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Uh oh. Aoi has arrived. I’m sure she will be the true thing that makes Sara hurry up. Sara better grow up soon. Next chapter is a celebration chapter because the author reached a milestone of 10k points! So it’s a bonus chapter from Shiori’s pov.
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Also thank you Sleffy, I agree, it’s cool seeing why Sara got more aggressive with her teasing. Also thank you 13aroness!
Mamuni's Translations 
*warning sirens going off* Sara is right to be afraid. I’m also afraid of Aoi…
Thank you for the translation!
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Aoi is all the scarier because she seems to be genuinely well intentioned.
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That was unexpected… And now Sara has a bad feeling about Aoi too, Im excited to see the futur chapter!
Also thanks for the chapter!
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refresh my memory, so is this chapter before or after Sara with Shiori bumped into Aoi and her friend?
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This is after. Extra reminder for anybody else who forgot. They never really talked to each other before and it was really brief. But they have seen eachother.
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Thanks for the new chapter!
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I can never settle on whether I think Aoi is a scary person or Aoi is a regular person who just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I usually land on the latter these days, but there will be moments like this one where I wonder…..
Hi, I’ve been reading this for quite a while, but I’m very bad at making sure to comment, especially lacking a wordpress account. Even though these updates are probably the thing I look forward to the most these days.
This story is just so good and the translation is great at conveying the charm of the story, which is not an easy thing as an amateur translator doing this for free! Thank you so much for letting me see this story.
I just…really love the story. A lot of it is the characters. Shiori and Sara have such wonderful chemistry and did even before Shiori melted into a romantic puddle and Sara began to return those feelings. The surrounding cast is charming and funny as well. The yandere turns out to be a good girl (or at least will be a good girl after maybe several decades of therapy). And Shiori has got to be the most relatable protagonist in the world to me. Opening the story talking about how much she loves relationships between women whether romantic or not, that’s my fiction jam. And I also start off giving the impression of someone serious with everything together but I turn out to be a useless bottom on the inside.
But in addition to the characters, I love what the author does with incomplete perspectives. Of course, there’s the obvious one with Aoi since the memories of the game give us her incomplete understanding, but it affects everyone.
Shiori included, even if she has the most information of everyone thanks to the game dreams from various character perspectives. But she’s too wrapped up in the knowledge she has from the games and the dreams to see clearly, whether it be underestimating her chances with Sara and worrying about a game corrective force.
And that makes it so that the readers also don’t know about those! Just as Shiori underestimates Sara’s interest, we the readers will overestimate it — though that has become less true lately. After previous Sara POVs helped ground our immediate OH THEY’RE IN LOVE reactions, I was quite surprised that I’d actually UNDERESTIMATED Sara’s love level over summer break. After all, she was still terrified of Shiori liking her romantically during her recovery from the senpai confession, so I assumed that the kinds of things we are getting now would be only post-accidental-kiss, but this girl managed to shift gears really fast. (But believably! She remains scared of love, but she doesn’t have to be fully not scared of love to start falling in love, and she’s been given space over the summer chapters to process that fear and those new emotions.)
And the idea that the game had some kind of corrective force…I really did think that was the case when Shiori kept pointing out places where things changed without her intervention. Sara riding the train. Koharu joining the art club. These seemed completely out of Shiori’s hands. She hadn’t even properly met Koharu! So I became equally anxious as Shiori about it.
But, on a reread, I realized there’s enough information to make a case for this all just being a butterfly effect. Sara felt less awkward about getting pressed into accepting umbrella help from a senpai who had originally just given her an umbrella. Koharu and Aoi never met the takoyaki girl, which might have prompted some conversation about food to get Koharu to consider culinary club, and Shiori and Aoi locked eyes at the entrance, which could have prompted Aoi comments that made Koharu too wary to leave Aoi alone with her in a club.
So I’ve since started dismissing Shiori’s concerns of some sinister force behind, like, Sara not being able to express exactly why she wanted to stay behind when her parents went overseas. And yet I could be wrong! And that’s got almost a sense of mystery in the background! I still go back and forth on the idea of sinister forces named Aoi, though…..
Anyway, long story short, thank you so much for giving us this lovely story that would have been beyond many of our reaches. I am a weeb, it’s true, but I don’t know a lick of Japanese beyond very simple phrases from subtitled anime. You have put in a lot of time and effort and I’m very grateful for it.
Time to reread this chapter like two times more as I wait with excitement for more content. Ahhh, Sara has been so cute and lovely through these POVs, and have given so much more context when I go back to reread the Shiori POVs of the same events. I really didn’t expect Shiori’s sex appeal and older sweetheart charm from the sleepover to work so fast, but Sara sure got shot straight through the heart by it. And to think Shiori thought that the sleepover was the greatest proof that Sara had no interest. Love this girl trying her best after dealing with so much crap from others’ romantic feelings. Keep fighting, Sara!!
Thanks again. Really.
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Thank you so much for putting the time to write this. I genuinely appreciate it and the kind words. I’m very happy that you are enjoying the story.
And I 100% can relate, this story has been so engaging and fun to translate, it is the most on my most on the edge of my seat story I’ve translated. I like all the characters. I like how there is no bad guy, simply flawed people.
Also I really appreciate your words about the translation, I try hard to make sure the story feels natural in English just like it does in Japanese, because I really enjoy the work. So I am very happy when my translations allow it to still resonates with people in another language. The author has done a great job, her other stories have also been wonderful.
An eye opener was the butterfly effect you wrote, I completely didn’t even think about that. How the takoyaki could have prompted Koharu to cook, or Shiori and Aoi seeing each other at the entrance ceremony could have shaped their interaction. I never thought about it but it makes complete sense.
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I missed the takoyaki, I’ll catch that whenever I reread Koharu’s arc!
Great thoughts, thanks for writing that out. Even if there isn’t corrective influence towards the game, they still have thoughts and flaws from the game which makes for some fun confluences. The influence of chaos on the previously established personalities is fun.
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Lmao I really love how every reader and some characters just feels afraid when Aoi shows up.
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I feel like Aoi is going to be the very devious one. It wouldn’t even surprise me if she knew that she was to protagonist and the story wasn’t going the way it was supposed to.
Even if it doesn’t go that far I can also see her being the one to stab Sara. Well technically I she her going to stab Sara but Shiori hunny in the way and getting stabbed instead. Or vice versa.
I also feel like Aoi is using her connections to keep tabs on Sarah from the beginning
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(alarms blaring) CODE RED, LOVE RIVAL DETECTED
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What I want to know is, did Aoi give Sara this scary feeling in the game/alt universe without this Shiori? Because I still thought that, even though Sara wasn’t in love with Aoi, and was pressured into going out, was still trying to figure out what love would look like for her. My reasoning for that is how she seemed a little bashful/exasperated/weary when Koharu knew Sara was not in love with Aoi at the movies. Like, obviously that frustration was because this observer clued in while Aoi was (probably) willfully oblivious to Sara’s lack of interest. But I still thought that Sara, who is trying to understand love, was making the best of being with Aoi and trying to learn more about what that all means to herself, despite being pressured into the relationship and being afraid of isolation.
But if she had this scary feeling even in that alt universe timeline, then that becomes considerably more uncomfortable. To be clear, I think the whole pressuring Sara into a relationship, and Sara’s reasons for caving are NOT JUSTIFIABLE. Bad Aoi. But if she was also afraid (physically? not just afraid of isolation, this seems to be a different type of fear, right?) then my perspective goes from
Sara is pressured and caves but tries hard to make the most of it and is also a bit frustrated when Koharu recognizes that she is not in love with Aoi, because Sara was trying to figure out if she could be in the future/could make it work (whether or not that is healthy is a separate discussion).
to
On all fronts physically and mentally Sara felt she was forced to be with Aoi, and separating from Aoi in the future might put herself in danger.
This probably doesn’t matter to the other readers, because I suspect most here do not feel that there was any aspect to Sara being in that relationship with Aoi that Sara might have felt was worth working towards, without the pressure factoring into that. Probably correct. Just felt like Sara genuinely tried for at least a little bit of personal reasons outside of her fears/dependency, thus, this potentially changes that dynamic again so I have to pay close attention.
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I doubt Aoi is physically abusive because, so far, it would jeopardize her obsessive desire for approval from others and desperation to keep a stable and happy social environment. We should brace for the inevitable tragic backstory…
From the first times they met, Game-Aoi repeatedly complimented Sara for being so cold. At absolute best, Aoi complimented Sara for being cold to keep her strong so Sara didn’t look as if she was about to cry and bring down the mood. The depressed Sara felt obligated to act cold and to cook well and fake everything else she needed to match Aoi’s image of her. You could even look at this as Aoi gaslighting Sara with lots of little pushes. However pure Aoi’s motives could have been, she touched on Sara’s weaknesses and gradually pressured Sara to play the part of an icy and reserved but otherwise perfect girlfriend. Sara lacked the tools to resist for long. Notice how real-Shiori never triggered any of the same reactions, and how rapidly Sara brightened up around Shiori’s kindness? Shiori was surprised. Aoi was scary from the start of the game, and Sara must have had a lot of difficult feelings about the charade. Sara eventually convinced herself she was in love with Aoi, whatever the health or reality of that love, which I think is a similar pattern as the previous emotional abuse.
I’m pretty sure Sara is just on guard because she could tell Aoi was glaring at her jealously when they first met each-other (and when Sara’s face went cold out of experience). Though I wouldn’t be too surprised if Sara is more on guard because of somehow dreaming connected to the other timeline.
I’m on the side of thinking Aoi is, as Koharu said, very aware of people around her. The more Aoi is aware of how her actions make others feel, the more her actions in the Sara route are cruel. The more Aoi is mostly thoughtless, the more she’s just mistakenly projecting her wants onto others. Either way, she’s selfish. Poor Aoi, it seems like she is going to go through more turmoil in this timeline than in the game.
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